Running gay

His touch makes my skin peel, we have been together for nearly 2 years, my first and only boyfriend, we say we love one another but it isn't love. It is me wishing for someone to love me, comfort me, and tell me my personality out weighs any modeling gig I've done. He loves me for my ability to stop a room, to talk up a crowd, yet I am alone, even alone in bed. All I want to do is dye my hair black, gain 10lb, and then will he still love me? Anorexia brought me praise, I am scared I might cut myself to stop this circle of hate and anger. Looks don't ever bring happiness, they only attract those who care about them, honestly I am much more attracted to any average joe then any model, but no average joe will talk to me. This is my secret this is my pain, I shall carry it with me for as long as I can.
Category General Confession

advice from Guest1302656 | 11-01-2007 15:41 | E : 2 | S : 0
Go for the person you see yourself with most. If this boyfriend isn't making you happy than don't be with him.
Dye your hair black, gain ten pounds and for god sakes don't cut yourself over some dumb ___ boy.
"What are you waiting for? The time is now."

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advice from Guest1068645 | 10-02-2007 22:14 | E : 1 | S : 0
Wow. Don't stay in a relationship you are not happy in! I'm a little on the opposite end, and average Joe here. I've always wanted to look better, I can get pretty down sometimes. I just try to remember that looks don't last but true love does. I have not experienced that but I just know it has to! You'll do fine. If you are attractive plus actually think about more than what you look like, you'll find what you are looking for.
Good luck. :)
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advice from Guest1097113 | 10-27-2007 16:53 | E : 1 | S : 0
go for the average joe, he is probably trying to drum up the courage to talk to you.

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advice from Guest1067254 | 10-02-2007 19:15 | E : 0 | S : 0
dude sod the bastard of a bf and do what you want
if you wanna dye your hair black then dye your hair black
if you wanna gain some weight then just go for it
dont cut your wrists cause of a guy
no ones worth cutting your wrists over
i may only be 15 but i know a lot about it
i used o cut my wrists because of bullying problems
but now i've stopped caring whatother people think of me and trying to be some one im not and ive started being myself around people, and now i have a great boyfriend wholoves me and loads of really great close friends who appreciate me for who i am, not what i look like
so good luck x
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advice from Guest1710699 | 12-09-2007 03:58 | E : 0 | S : 0
i don't have any advice, i just want to say i know exctly how you feel, so you are not alone
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advice from Guest1565221 | 11-26-2007 16:09 | E : 1 | S : 4
It must be hard being beautiful and have a beautiful boyfriend. I cut myself because I don't have those things. Go figure.
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