abortion

Last year after my abortion...
I stepped out in front of a car in the middle of the country.
When asked why I was on the road, I lied and said i thought i saw a kitten.
In all truths, I was hoping to get hit and die.
Still today I dream of dying.
I even have to try and restrain myself from running out in front of cars...
I just feel that for killing my baby-
I should have to die a terrible and painful death....
but no one understands.
Category Dirty Little Secret

advice from Guest1580149 | 11-29-2007 21:44 | E : 3 | S : 0
I also did it twice, once at 19 and once at 20, same guy-my husband now. I've been pregnant 5 more times since, and everytime I have a miscarriage, I scarred my uterus and can't have kids, I feel the guilt too. Should've roughed it out.
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advice from Guest1117104 | 10-09-2007 21:47 | E : 2 | S : 0
I understand. I did it too, and feel the exact same way. I am so sorry.
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advice from Guest1606720 | 11-30-2007 15:12 | E : 2 | S : 0
I had an abortion and have gone on to get married and have 3 children. When I had the abortion, I didn't understand what having a child was all about. I did what I had to do at the time. I'm not sure that I could repeat that action now, however. I used to feel guilty about it ... now, I understand that it was something that I had to do and that it was OK. I'm sure that you did what you had to do. Your life will go on, as it should. And you shouldn't carry guilt around forever. Everything happens for a reason ... and I know that it made me a much stronger person and makes me love and appreciate my 3 kids today more than anything else in the whole wide world.
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advice from Guest3466764 | 11-14-2007 21:27 | E : 1 | S : 0
You must live for that baby, they don't blame you, its what you had to do at that time. Live everyday for that little baby. Live your life to the fullest. That baby will always be in your heart, but you only have one life to live, and someday, you may want to have another child when the timing is right. Im so sorry you feel that way, but I bet that the child wouldnt want you to feel this way.
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advice from Guest1836742 | 12-20-2007 15:58 | E : 1 | S : 0
I am a sister of an aborted child, and let me tell you i have seen my mother go through h___ and back because of what she did. but there are ministries out there that will work with you on forgiving yourself! my mom and i have both been working with whats called Silent No More ..each state has its own chapter! look it up and good luck!! hang in there! i know its tough but its gonna be ok
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advice from Guest1883993 | 12-26-2007 02:31 | E : 1 | S : 0
I understand. I have two children and i aborted the 3rd. i too know what it feels like to want to feel the pain you caused, but it is the past, and you cannot go back, you can only go forward. You will be a mother one day, at the right time, sadly that choice will always be with you, it will never go away but the tears and the pain will.

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advice from Guest1907082 | 12-27-2007 18:08 | E : 3 | S : 2
i am so sorry for how you feel,but you need to talk to God

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advice from Guest2047406 | 01-12-2008 01:09 | E : 1 | S : 0
you cant keep tearing yourself down for this. ask for forgiveness. learn from your mistakes, theres nothing else you can do.
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advice from Guest2219854 | 01-31-2008 00:36 | E : 1 | S : 0
I had an abortion 1 year ago and I feel the same way...
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advice from Guest1145665 | 10-13-2007 18:33 | E : 0 | S : 0
I Understand how You feel. I was made to get an abortion years ago because I was told the child would be taken from me( the one who got me pregnant told me that). I have had another child (by that same Man)since my abortion, and I told the father there was No Way In Hell I would ever Give up this Child,so here I am living every day looking at My child and feeling Guilty that I didn't also keep the one that was aborted. I have lost so much because of the Man who got me pregnant. Today I hate that Man. I am no longer the happier person I was when I met HIM all those years ago. So I feel for You. I hope You look to God,that and My Children are the only reasons why I am still alive. God Bless You!

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advice from Guest1530159 | 11-22-2007 20:17 | E : 1 | S : 1
you did nothing wrong, love.
please don't think that you did.
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advice from Guest1564994 | 11-26-2007 16:02 | E : 0 | S : 0
i did it twice .. and i want to do the same thing ..everyday..
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advice from Guest1623925 | 12-02-2007 06:01 | E : 0 | S : 0
I am so sorry you feel this way. I want to cry reading this, bc I am 3 months preg, and I almost got an abortion myself.
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advice from Guest1448586 | 12-09-2007 18:04 | E : 0 | S : 0
don't hurt yourself for it, please. i had three miscarriages myself but we were going to have abortions because my boyfriend and i are quite young. i beat myself up about it all the time but i know it wasn't my fault and it's better the way it is now. think of all the kids who are raised and abused. you'll have lovely kids one day and you'll give them all the love they deserve.
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advice from Guest1744453 | 12-12-2007 13:05 | E : 0 | S : 0
I have had 2 abortions, and I still feel the guilt, and they were over 6 years ago. I try to make myself feel better by thinking that the time wasn't right or that the father of the child wouldn't have been a very good one. I now have 3 beautiful children, that I love with all of my heart, But I knoe that when I get up into heaven they will be there waitjing for me.
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advice from Guest1749029 | 12-12-2007 20:30 | E : 0 | S : 0
I know what you mean.... while I've never been pregnant and I fully support abortions, I could never get one because I'm afraid that I'd feel like you do.

You aren't alone.
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advice from Guest1914654 | 12-28-2007 16:10 | E : 0 | S : 0
You have to stop wishing death upon yourself! What you did was wrong but u cannot bring that baby back. Killing yourself is not gonna solve anything d even tho u may not think so ..there is sum body n this world that loves you alot and what will happen to them whn you are gon?
Stay strong..dont get out of this the easy way

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advice from Guest1921681 | 12-29-2007 13:49 | E : 0 | S : 0
i do
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advice from Guest1926181 | 12-30-2007 03:29 | E : 0 | S : 0
i misscarried a baby and i regret dat day
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advice from Guest1930716 | 12-30-2007 17:50 | E : 0 | S : 0
You are not alone hun. I have had 2 ab's. and have healed myself. You don't deserve to punish yourself anymore than you already have. You're human and allowed to make choices you regret. Rise above this and learn from it. I regret mine, but have learned a lot as a result. Things will get better if you allow them to. Be strong and know that you are not defined by your ab.
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advice from Guest1955362 | 01-02-2008 20:39 | E : 0 | S : 0
i understand and im sorry. I feel the same pain..my baby would be a year and 2 months old right now. I feel so empty and i wish i never listened to the people who told me to have an abortion. I will never let my children go through this kind of pain i will always support them. i wish my parents supported me.
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advice from Guest2080974 | 01-15-2008 17:34 | E : 0 | S : 0
nah everyone understands, they just lie
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advice from Guest1868404 | 12-24-2007 00:50 | E : 0 | S : 1
hun, were all here for you all over the world, its alright that you had an abortion, and its not murder or death.
you made the right choice for urself at that time.
you have to learn how to live with that now.
maybe adopt another kid, cuz every kid needs a mother, and its your tiem now

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advice from Guest1881819 | 12-25-2007 08:31 | E : 0 | S : 1
no, no, no, no, listen why would you think that killing it was a bad thing, i mean the thing never saw life, never knew what it was, u never know maybe in its own world it thought that, that was all of it.

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advice from Guest2296764 | 02-09-2008 02:58 | E : 0 | S : 3
you are not a bad person. you made the best choice you could at the time.

and...Guest1808827

"your a murder"

I believe what you were attempting to communicate was, "You're a murderer." Perhaps you should think of an ed-u-ma-cation. You failure. Learn the distinct and simple difference between YOUR and YOU'RE. Jesus God.
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advice from Guest1808827 | 12-18-2007 07:34 | E : 2 | S : 29
your a murder
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