abused

for about a whole year when i was 6 i was sexually abused by a boy who was 14, ever since then ive been beaten. my ribs have been broken, lots of bruises and black eyes. sometimes i loose track of which excuse im using. i pull myself into relationships to make myself feel better, and my first boyfriend, that i dated for 2 years 10 months and 2 days ended up dying of leukemia. i loved him, and all i have left is a picture. later i fell in love with someone else, who i cant stand to be without. i live for him. i got involved with my 3 of my friends boyfriends. About 3 weeks ago i lost my virginity to a boy who doesnt even care about me, hes already been through two other girls who i go to school with. Ive tried to kill myself too many times to count. Im an honors student and im in alot of activities, but i dont care anymore. I smoke, do acid, drink alot and i hide it really well. to say all of this is one thing. its so much easier then living it. there isnt one night that i dont cry myself to sleep. I want parents who care about me, friends will be there for me, a guy who wont use me, and i want to care again. but its never going to happen...not for me
Category Didn't Want To Know - But I Do

advice from Guest2684374 | 03-27-2007 07:18 | E : 8 | S : 0
I too was abused when I was little. Age 4 to age 12. It takes things away from you for awhile.
The one thing I will say is stop having sex for long time. I confused sex with love and you are too. You are using your body to cover up your feelings. Stop for a while. It's ok not to have sex.

DO NOT KILL YOURSELF!!!
Stay in school and get into college. Once you leave home and move into a dorm or share an apt. with other's life will feel better.
Please try to see some one about the abuse. It causes so much pain inside that has nowhere to go so we make painful situations to be in.Painful situations feel normal. They are not.
In the mean time, do a search for sexual abuse survivors. There are some good sites with good advise.

I love you and I feel your pain. It will get better
ELEVATE THIS ADVICE SINK THIS ADVICE

advice from Guest2722240 | 03-31-2007 15:02 | E : 3 | S : 0
I had a friend who was bisexual and afraid of it, his parents hated him, and the girl he was in love with was his best friend's girl. It goes deeper and story keeps going but this is about you and I have a point. He wrote the girl he loved a letter and went home and put a gun in his mouth. That night, without knowing better, the girl broke up with her boyfriend and made her way to my friend's house to confess that she loved him too. She found his shocked parents instead. There was an amazing party in his honor and the girl of his dreams was there crying for him. It's too bad he had to miss it all because he couldn't get over the pain long enough to live despite it.
ELEVATE THIS ADVICE SINK THIS ADVICE

advice from Guest2685226 | 03-27-2007 11:05 | E : 1 | S : 0
I've been there, and come out on the other side. You just have to find strength in yourself and realize that you are enough to be happy and that you deserve it.
ELEVATE THIS ADVICE SINK THIS ADVICE

advice from Guest2661643 | 03-24-2007 13:44 | E : 0 | S : 0
MAN!, THATS DEEP....BLESS YOUR HEART
ELEVATE THIS ADVICE SINK THIS ADVICE

advice from Guest2563870 | 03-26-2007 21:25 | E : 1 | S : 1
sounds like you've had a VERY rough life. Im sure nothing i could say would help but...
What doesn't kill you only makes your stronger.

good luck
ELEVATE THIS ADVICE SINK THIS ADVICE

advice from Guest2688783 | 03-27-2007 18:41 | E : 0 | S : 0
i KiN FULLi UNDERSTAND EVERYTHiNG YOU ARE GOiNG THROUGHT....WHAT i DiD WAS JUS CRY FOR A LONGGGGGGGG TiME i TALKED TO PEOPLE i TRUSTED DEEP iNSiDE....

N i DONT WANNA B A CLiCHE' N SAi TALK 2 SOMEONE BUT iT HELPZ FIGURE OUT WHATS GOiNG WRONG iN YOUR LiFE AND TRY 2 RESOLVE iT THE BEST WAY YOU KNO HOW iT MiGHT TAKE A LONG TiME BUT iF U DONT DO ANYTHiNG ABOUT iT SOON U NEVER KNO WHAT WiLL HAPPEN 2 YOU...DONT TRY AND KiLL YOUR SELF iTS ENDiN YOUR LiFE iN A WAi iT SHOULD NEVER END...

i AND THE WHOLE WORLD CAN GiVE YOU ADViCE...AND i HOPE YOU TAKE ALL THE ADViCE AND HELP TO HAEART....BUT iN THE END HOW YOU TAKE iT AND HOW YOU FiX YOUR LiFE iS ALLLLLL UP TO YOU
ELEVATE THIS ADVICE SINK THIS ADVICE

advice from Guest2689186 | 03-27-2007 20:20 | E : 0 | S : 0
Sweetheart I know how you feel, I've had somewhat of the same experiance as you in my life and there were times that I rather die than to live another day with the pain. You know what made it better? I found someone who loved me when I thought that no one else did, and that was God!! I don't want to sound all preachy but honestly it was that that saved my life! Find a church get some spirital cousuling. Because once you understand that no matter who you are, what you do, and what was done to you there is someone that will love you no matter what! And once to start to love yourself, love will come to you. It took me almost 26 years to figure that out and now that I do nothing, I mean NOTHING will make me feel the way I use to feel again! I'll be praying for you! Remember you are Beautiful & don't let anyone tell you different!!!!
ELEVATE THIS ADVICE SINK THIS ADVICE

advice from Guest2694437 | 03-28-2007 11:52 | E : 0 | S : 0
I am so sorry to hear your story. But it sounds as if you gave up on yourself. Bad things happen...and in your case, too many bad things. You need to love yourself and respect yourself. Turning to drugs and booze is not the answer, it only makes things worse. All these incidents that have happen to you, has broken you down..you need to rebuild yourself. I am betting your parents care about you very much...but are blind. You even said yourself, "I hide it really well". Perhaps you need to share this with your parents...or someone you trust. They will help you, trust me. I am a complete stranger to you, but if you approached me on the street with your story..I would do everything I could do to help you. I hope life improves for you. Time to rebuild!
ELEVATE THIS ADVICE SINK THIS ADVICE

advice from Guest2570713 | 03-30-2007 11:58 | E : 0 | S : 0
I HOPE YOU PUT URSELF BACK TOGETHER FIND HAPPINESS AGAIN UR TO YOUNG TO GIVE UP HOPE . DONT GIVE UP ON URSELF TRY TO SURROUND UR SELF AROUND POSITIVE PEOPLE UR WORTH MORE THAN U THINK PLEASES BELIEVE ..STAY STRONG PUST AWAY THE BAD AND LOOK FOWARD TO UR DREAMS THAT YOU WILL ACHIEVE
ELEVATE THIS ADVICE SINK THIS ADVICE

advice from Guest2724116 | 04-06-2007 08:05 | E : 0 | S : 0
Just relax. Find a hobby that doesn't include using drugs or something. Find some positive friends, find a new crowd. Find something or somebody that will point you to the right direction, and stay on that path.

ELEVATE THIS ADVICE SINK THIS ADVICE

advice from Guest2787696 | 04-06-2007 22:57 | E : 0 | S : 0
i am so sorry, nothing i do or say can help you i know, but i want you to know you are in my prayers. i know things may seem hopeless and suicide may seem appealing at times like these, but you have to stay strong, you have to stay alive. you are young and have a full life ahead of you with amazing times, friendships and people. sure, life has disappointments and it will kick you down. it is hard to get up from a fall like that, i know. but the worst decision you could possibly make is to end your life. i know it may seem hopeless to you, for you, but i promise you it's not. there is someone who cares for you no matter what, who won't let you down. you are in my prayers, please don't give up on life.

ELEVATE THIS ADVICE SINK THIS ADVICE

advice from Guest2896216 | 04-17-2007 11:53 | E : 1 | S : 1
think about praying

ELEVATE THIS ADVICE SINK THIS ADVICE

advice from Guest2981226 | 04-25-2007 19:09 | E : 0 | S : 0
im not going to say i know wut your going through, but god i hope you come out on top, im sorry for the boy, i know how that feels at least,

love

ELEVATE THIS ADVICE SINK THIS ADVICE

advice from Guest2973592 | 05-04-2007 22:00 | E : 0 | S : 0
thats funny that your quick code is 123, abc, because thats exacltly how i feel when people tell me how to get over wht im going throught, and in reality its so complicated only i could understand! i dunno if thats why you put that but whatever i guess.. l,ol. n good luck

ELEVATE THIS ADVICE SINK THIS ADVICE

advice from Guest2990496 | 05-08-2007 17:24 | E : 0 | S : 0
dont give away all of this. u r beauitful in ur own way

ELEVATE THIS ADVICE SINK THIS ADVICE

advice from Guest3116395 | 05-12-2007 19:14 | E : 0 | S : 0
Shit happens. You get stuck in it. But if you take sometime. a day, week. Just think about how you EXCIST. You just have to live and make the best of the bad. just breath

Good-luck sweetheart, Don't give up on your self

ELEVATE THIS ADVICE SINK THIS ADVICE

advice from Guest844064 | 09-01-2007 02:35 | E : 0 | S : 0
omg sweetie!! its ok!! dont kill yourself!! keep holding on!! rmbr tht there is always gonna be sum one who love u!! u just dnt kno it!! watever doesnt kill u makes u stronger!!!!
ELEVATE THIS ADVICE SINK THIS ADVICE

advice from Guest1281998 | 10-30-2007 01:46 | E : 0 | S : 0
Please please please don't kill yourself. There are people out there who care about you more than you could imagine. If you kill yourself, you won't get the chance to find them. I understand that you hurt a lot, more than I can imagine, but find someone that you trust, if you can, or go to a councillor and discuss your problems. You have to show these s____ who've hurt you that you are a stronger person than them, and that no matter what happens you will keep fighting. If you can think of one reason to keep yourself alive, cling on to it. If not, it's just round the corner
Love and strength
xxx

ELEVATE THIS ADVICE SINK THIS ADVICE

advice from Guest2130694 | 01-22-2008 16:38 | E : 0 | S : 0
I can't say i know what your going through, because i don't. But i feel for you so much. I hope so bad that you make it alright. If i were you, i would just leave. Leave everything. And just make a new better life. I do that myself every few years with all my friends and everything i can. It makes life so much easier to just start over. I can't say its the right thing to do in your case, but i can tell you its worked very well for me. Just know that there are people out there that care for people like you and that you are not alone. (: You have a friend here that will be hoping for you. ^_^ Good luck!
ELEVATE THIS ADVICE SINK THIS ADVICE

advice from Guest2829385 | 04-11-2007 11:20 | E : 2 | S : 3
Take responsiblity for your own actions, You said that ' i got involved with my 3 of my friends boyfriends'
Right there is BS, and if the girlfriends of those boys found out, they would probably make your life a whole lot rougher
Make good decisions and again take accountability for your actions.
Every action has a reaction.
Stop playin the Victim role

w0rd to your mothers mother.

ELEVATE THIS ADVICE SINK THIS ADVICE

advice from Guest1651133 | 12-04-2007 10:22 | E : 0 | S : 1
i was sexually abused by my father when i was 14
and ive had sex with 2 boys since then
neither of them liked me
i do drugs
drink
and ive cut
im defiently NOT an honnor student
but youll be ok
ELEVATE THIS ADVICE SINK THIS ADVICE

advice from Guest2713411 | 03-30-2007 12:38 | E : 0 | S : 12
lol...
ELEVATE THIS ADVICE SINK THIS ADVICE