dead sex

We are not even married and my sex drive has just disapeared. I wish i could find it and please my husband to be. I want to want sex but i just dont! I feel awful and try and initiate sex however he knows that i am not really into it and says he does not want it. I love him more than anything in the world and i dont know what to do.
Category Disappointed

advice from Guest3101720 | 05-08-2007 19:08 | E : 1 | S : 0
Go to a doctor. Are you taking any medication or herbal products? some of these can cause decreased or lack of sex drive as a side effect.

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advice from Guest3105234 | 05-09-2007 16:45 | E : 1 | S : 0
Sex is a big part of marriage, especially at the beginning it should be fun, new, exciting, and frequent. See a doctor and find out if there's anything mentally or chemically out of balance. good luck to you.

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advice from Guest3106916 | 05-10-2007 12:46 | E : 1 | S : 0
I have this same problem. I have been engaged for just a few months, and I already don't want to have sex with my fiance except maybe once a week. The only thing that helps me is to play with a vibrator before we go to bed, to get me in the mood.

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advice from Guest2448474 | 04-30-2007 18:58 | E : 0 | S : 0
lack of sexual interest is an actual condition and there is treatment for it. I'd say go to a sex therapist or even just a councelor to let you know what you should do. i say get help before your relationship is permanently scarred

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advice from Guest3046173 | 05-19-2007 20:11 | E : 0 | S : 0
I hate to bring you down, but no matter how much he loves you, if you don't find a cure, he will cheat on you. People have physical needs, so unless you are ready to deal with that, start working the problem out now. Good luck!
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advice from Guest3212246 | 06-08-2007 05:27 | E : 0 | S : 0
It might be some uncertainties you're having about the marriage, or about yourself. Make sure everything's okay with you before you start looking into other causes for it. See a counselor and then go to a doctor to examine you physically. Good luck.
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advice from Guest3217792 | 06-09-2007 16:49 | E : 0 | S : 0
When I started birth control, I COMPLETELY lost my sex drive. It was pointless for me to be on it, becuase I wasn't having any sex!! Good luck with this, I hope you figure out a way to spice up your love life with your fiance.
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advice from Guest3197808 | 06-10-2007 05:46 | E : 0 | S : 0
vgjjj
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advice from Guest3271948 | 06-23-2007 04:33 | E : 0 | S : 0
What is happening in your life? Are you going through a lot of stress and anxiety? Is life cruising along or have there been a lot of downs lately. Just relax and don't pressure yourself, that's probably part of wht you no longer want sex. Sometimes the body just shuts down.
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advice from Guest3313146 | 07-01-2007 23:17 | E : 0 | S : 0
Definitely see a doctor. Good luck!
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advice from Guest886884 | 09-09-2007 23:36 | E : 0 | S : 0
Honey, without more details, it's really hard to offer advice. But here's one piece that's a no brainer, DON"T get married without finding out what's going on. Marriage is almost always cure for problems with sex. Don't kid yourself, sex is not a big deal when it's good and both partners are happy, but it is HUGE deal when one of you aren't! Get help BEFORE the ceremony......don't kid yourself
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advice from Guest994275 | 09-22-2007 17:27 | E : 0 | S : 0
If you've been with him longer than 6 months, and the relationship is good, it's probably just familiarity that's causing the problem. I love my man, but after about 6 months or a year, I didn't feel as excited about sex anymore. Most of the time, I offer or accept sex to please him, but a few minutes into it, I get excited and the results are the same as if we were both equally into it at the beginning. If you and your man can tolerate a few minutes of somewhat mechanical foreplay/sex, you might be rewarded the same way. I wish the high of falling in love could last forever, but they say it doesn't, so this is my workaday solution. The occasional separation (business trip, in our case) also helps make it "new" again.

If you're having problems with your relationship, this might not work, at least not at first. In that case, you might need to see a counselor, or find some other way to communicate better with your partner, because problems seem to always find their way into the bedroom. And if they can't be resolved before the wedding, I agree with the person who said to seriously reconsider!

If the relationship is quite new, and otherwise untroubled, maybe it's a physical problem, or a mental health problem. In that case, you should see a doctor, or a therapist.

If you're depressed, or anxious, or stressed out, exercise will help almost instantly. Twenty minutes on the elliptical treadmill, or a yoga class, can work wonders. Weekends away from household and work pressures have worked well for me too.
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