Dear Dad

When he was sick, when i was mad i would wish he would die. when he died, i felt nothing. Now all i feel is shame, and feel like i dont deserve to be happy, because i feel like i killed him. for the first few years i never cried. now i cry about once a week. only one person have ever seen me cry over my Father. he died on Fathers day 10 years ago. i wonder if he's in heaven and knows i wished for him to die. everytime i fall down, or get hurt. i wonder if its him. im sorry daddy. i never meant it i was just a kid, and i love and miss you so much. im so sorry.......please forgive me. i was 11 when he died, im 22 now.
Category General Confession

advice from Guest2200139 | 01-29-2008 00:09 | E : 0 | S : 0
this made me cry. im so sorry. he loves you, don't worry. when you fall or get hurt im sure he's the one whos helping you get better, not the one making you fall.
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advice from Guest2257129 | 02-04-2008 15:25 | E : 0 | S : 0
I almost cried reading this, myself. I wouldn't cry the whole time my dad was dying. I wouldn't cry for months after he died. I refused to cry, and just hated him for it. I understand completely and yet not at all because you have a whole different situation.

It wasn't your fault he died and he knows you didn't want him to die.

Just remember that he loves you.

It's so hard to understand sickness and death at that young of an age.
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advice from Guest2311006 | 02-10-2008 16:50 | E : 0 | S : 0
:( Im sure he would understand. you were just a kid you didn't understand. He still probably loves you.
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