dilemma

My husband raped me 11 days after I gave birth to our son. I have stayed & tried to forgive him, but its not really working. He caused internal damage I still have to deal with - including surgery in 2 weeks.
I know he won't do it again, but should I stay because of our family, or leave everything I have in hopes of starting over?
There is a piece of me that may never love him again, and I want to love someone.
We have a business together & a beautiful home, I am scared to lose everything.
Category Betrayal

advice from Guest1557658 | 11-25-2007 20:35 | E : 5 | S : 0
Leave, for your safety and your son's.
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advice from Guest1552106 | 11-25-2007 06:35 | E : 2 | S : 0
You definitely need to leave. For yourself-you shouldn't stay with a guy who treats you like this-and for your son. If you stay, you're son wil be affected as well. If you stay both you and your son will have a negative life, and you will always be wondering. Find someone who treats you like an equal...or a princess :)
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advice from Guest2399811 | 02-20-2008 00:02 | E : 2 | S : 0
Please Leave, it only gets worse.

If he did that to you before, he will do worse in the future...
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advice from Guest1134631 | 12-23-2007 21:06 | E : 1 | S : 0
what a bastard.
leave while you still can
he PHYSICALLY hurt you!
do you want your son growing up around this man? even if you say he wont do it again.. did you think he would do it in the first place?

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advice from Guest1997590 | 01-07-2008 14:27 | E : 1 | S : 0
You need to leave. He took advantage of you. Trust me, I know how hard it is to leave someone, even after abuse like that. But you will make it. Do it for your son and for yourself.
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advice from Guest3271948 | 02-01-2008 09:34 | E : 1 | S : 0
Do it for your son. Provide a safe environment for him.
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advice from Guest1969248 | 01-04-2008 15:19 | E : 0 | S : 0
Love your son. Think of him first.
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advice from Guest2553876 | 03-07-2008 05:50 | E : 0 | S : 0
it wont be easy.
but i think you already know.
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advice from Guest2423113 | 03-08-2008 16:41 | E : 0 | S : 0
my dad raped my mom when i was a child. she told me when she was older. I hate my dad for it. I wish my mom would have loved my mom enough to have left back then. I think there would have been more joy in my childhood. best thing they both ever did for me was divorce. what if something happened to you, what would he do to your son!
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advice from Guest2580248 | 03-09-2008 21:28 | E : 0 | S : 0
LEAVE HIM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!you don't want to raise ur son in that envirment!
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advice from Guest2740935 | 03-24-2008 00:23 | E : 0 | S : 0
You need to leave.
Think what will happen in the future
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advice from Guest2782203 | 03-27-2008 17:00 | E : 0 | S : 0
Think of the baby if nothing else. The man will be his role model; he will teach your son how to treat a woman. Leave for your safety and his. You don't need to forgive because it's not ok and never will be. Guess what? Even if you lose "everything" you will have the knowledge that you are raising your son. And don't ever say that he won't do it again.
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advice from Guest2865265 | 04-04-2008 01:11 | E : 0 | S : 0
i know you think it wont happen agin but trust me the same thing happend to my mom and she said it would be a one time thing to
but she was wrong and now my moms not here any more because she couldent handle the fact that the man she loved would do that to her for no reason at all. try to think about you kids to would you rater them okay adn kinda happy or there lifes ruined because then have no mom and a dad that was taken away for what he did to you?
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advice from Guest2879974 | 04-05-2008 08:51 | E : 0 | S : 0
I think you already know what you have to do. I cant imagine how painful physically that was for you. If he did that to you without caring how you felt physically.. Do you really think that he cares about your emotions and how you feel inside... let alone love you???.. I dont think so..I cant imagine physically hurting someone that I love... That is the worst thing someone can do to you... You really need to get out of there!!!
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advice from Guest1782205 | 04-05-2008 10:13 | E : 0 | S : 0
he hurt you. and even though you say he wont do it again, do you REALLY know that? leave for your saftey and your son's, and find someone who will truely mean what he says in his wedding vows.
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advice from Guest2883715 | 04-05-2008 17:13 | E : 0 | S : 0
even if he will never do it again you need to be with someone you love or you will never be really happy and eventually that lack of happieness will turn to anger
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advice from Guest2884110 | 04-05-2008 17:55 | E : 0 | S : 0
Turn walk away and never look back....
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advice from Guest2885476 | 04-05-2008 21:25 | E : 0 | S : 0
GET RID OF HIM ! What if he does that to your child????
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advice from Guest2886319 | 04-05-2008 23:46 | E : 0 | S : 0
well im srry and this sounds very serious. i say u leave him ASAP, dont forgive him, but ive been through a situation like this, where i had to live with someone that i didnt want to, and i had to because of money issues but now i saved money and live on my own.
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advice from Guest2886602 | 04-06-2008 00:41 | E : 0 | S : 0
"we only accept the love we think we deserve"
You deserve better then that
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advice from Guest2891222 | 04-06-2008 13:52 | E : 0 | S : 0
He violated you. What makes you so sure he won't abuse you in some other sort of way in the long run? Your heart already knows the best answer for you. Now find the courage to follow your heart. Shelter your child no matter what decision you make. Children deserve a loving home.
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advice from Guest1109607 | 04-06-2008 14:59 | E : 0 | S : 0
How do you know he won't do it again? He did it once... as the old saying goes 'a lepod can't change his spots'. This must have been a terrible expreience and if you stay with him you will be reminded of it every day for the rest of your life. Get out now, with your son, and have the happy life you deserve. Good luck!
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advice from Guest2517079 | 03-02-2008 17:05 | E : 0 | S : 1
I gotta see leave this guy...you say that you know he won't do it again, but abuse is often not a one time thing...there should be a women's shelter nearby who can give you advice on how to leave and possibly let you stay there
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advice from Guest2881991 | 04-05-2008 13:08 | E : 0 | S : 1
People may think I'm crazy, but if you love someone enough, you can get passed even something like that. If it's not strong enough then do what would make you happiest, but if you stay you'll be suprised how little you end up thinking/caring about it.
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