Failed suicide

I tried commiting suicide this week. Twice. Neither time worked, I only woke up the next morning feeling sick. It was the worst feeling you can imagine; waking up the next morning when you should be dead. It feels like someone just punched you in the gut. The whole day I was shaking, the pills obviously didn't work off. Then I went on a binge, and purged, and exercised, and went to my room that night, and took more pills. I just want oblivion. I want to get away from eating and purging, and being lonely and feeling like I'm suffocating. I just want to escape!
Category General Confession

advice from Guest3135895 | 05-17-2007 17:58 | E : 1 | S : 0
Suicide is not the answer I once tried to do it an now I am grateful to be alive. Everything in life has a solution no matter how bad things are the sun always shines. Get help go to counseling but don't end your life.
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advice from Guest2993605 | 05-24-2007 22:45 | E : 1 | S : 0
See a doctor. Since I was a preteen I'd go a long time feeling nothing, then BAM.. nothing but pain. I've came very close to killing myself many times.. but something always got in the way. Recently, I went to that place again. Only this time I was an adult, and engaged. I gave my fiance his ring back, because he wasn't getting my subtle hints that I thought was very obvious but wasn't. I felt he knew I was planning to kill myself and didn't know. I had it all planned out... I went through all the options. I didn't have it in me to use a knife.. I didn't want to use pills because they give you too much time to change your mind, I couldn't hang myself, there's no where in my apartment to do that, and then I got to a gun. My dad was in his room sleeping with his gun in there. I had to wait. I was arguing with my fiance, he realized what I was planning to do, he came to my house and banged on the door for a half hour until I finally answered because I didn't want him to wake my dad up and my dad find out. He wouldn't let me go back inside, he forced me to stay with him all day.. I realized I always felt the pain, I was never numb like I thought... just used to the pain. I realized how deep I really went... I had litterally thought about the second by second plan of what I would do. I litterelly was determined to do it as soon as my dad left. I gave up my engagement ring that my fiance just gave me 2 days before hand, the engagement ring he spent his last dime on. I broke his heart, and I wanted to break it even more by leaving him completely. I realized what I was doing, and finally... I'm going to see a doctor. I don't want to live anymore, but only because it's so painful. If I could have a happy life I'd love to live. The thing is.. I do have a happy life.. only I'm too depressed to feel the joy. So I'm taking that option, I'm going to stop hurting myself and the people around me. I'm going to get help. I know it's hard to admit you need it, but it's not your fault. You're not crazy. 1 out of 4 women will be depressed. Don't be one of those cases where no one finds out until the woman is dead. Talk to a doctor.

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advice from Guest3137865 | 05-18-2007 05:22 | E : 0 | S : 0
i agree, i tried it a few years back and woke up the next morning and did nothing but cry cuz i was alive, but now i am so glad im still here; iv found the love of my life - something i neva thought id find

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