Goodbye

When he moved awayI slept with him, because I loved him.
I got pregnate, so I called to tell, his Mother picked up the phone instead.
She said, "I never want you calling again."
So I said, "Then you tell him about his kid."
She never did.
I was fourteen.
My best friend was a boy. We told my family he had gotten my pregnate, and we ran away.
He died a few years ago from AIDS.
The boy came back and I told him about his daughter. She was three.
I had fallen in love with my best friend,
and slept with him. I have HIV and I gave my daughter away so she wouldn't have to see me die.

I can't belive I'm writing this right now,
I was supposed to be dead three years ago.
I wish I would have died already, so I
didn't have to think about my baby every
second I'm breathing.
Category Disappointed

advice from Guest3188557 | 06-03-2007 18:32 | E : 0 | S : 0
wow I'm sorry
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advice from Guest3200505 | 06-04-2007 01:03 | E : 0 | S : 0
THIS IS INTENSE. perhaps write her a letter, saying everything you want to say before you die.
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advice from Guest3207463 | 06-06-2007 11:58 | E : 0 | S : 0
I agree with the idea of writing a very detailed letter and I'd have two versions, one that explains to your daughter how much you love her and didn't want her to see you suffer with HIV and another that you place in the hands of a lawyer or bank safety deposit box for her to open on her 18th birthday so she can read the real truth and the fact her 'grandma' condemned you both to die, you ended up sleeping with someone because he was there and contracted a deadly disease and your daughter since the boy's mom never wanted him to know about her. The 8____ must pay, if not know ... then later.
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advice from Guest3248013 | 06-16-2007 21:27 | E : 0 | S : 0
take a big breath everytime you get anxious.......the situation is what is and you just did/doing the best you can for everyone involved.i am sorry !!!!!!! smile alot and be kind to yourself.......this is your life,your reality.....and you doing great........stay strong and live the life as it is planned for you.....your life as painfull as it may be,is your life...embrace it !this is what meant to happen to you and is nothing you could have done different......the life we have is planed for us and we choose it,we just dont remember..but you wouldnt be her if you couldnt handle it.......my heart goes out to you.....and best wishes.....i give you a hug.....!
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advice from Guest3314847 | 07-02-2007 07:34 | E : 0 | S : 0
May the wind be at your back, and the sun upon your face. And may the winds of destiny carry you aloft to dance with the stars. Make sure she knows you always loved her.
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