hope dies in me

idk how to handle daily life anymore. I have a lovely girlfriend, wonderfull friends and a great job that pays really well. but none the less I zig zag between absolute joy, and terrible depression. I should probably go to the doctor about this, but I don't have it in me to tell anyone about it. I put on a faccade on my bad days that mirrors my good ones, but I secretly find a place I can be alone and I cry. deep sobs, sometimes I can't even breath. I get the feeling that my girlfriend is cheating on me and the people I know arnt who they say they are. I feel as if everyone has a dual persona, one real and one they show. although I have this as well, I don't feel mine is hurting anyone but me. saddnes is a one lane road. times pass and oceans will ebb. but life is what it is. idk anymore.
Category General Confession