Hurt love
QuickCode : over23thinker
My gf was too scarred to say no at 14 to a 20 year-old so she did things she didn't want to. We were making out three weeks ago and she stopped things and told me that I had done something that he just did... I guided her to do something. I wish she would have told me what he did cause now I feel like I was becoming that creep. He didn't love her. Do I if I accidently treat her like he did? We haven't made out in 4 weeks.
Category Romance
Submitted 09-15-2007 08:40
Visited 1764 times. 66.67 Compelling Rating (rated 3 times) 63.33 Sincerity Rating (rated 3 times)
advice from Guest898623 | 09-18-2007 16:55 | E : 1 | S : 0
Well, how would YOU know? You're not a mind reader. Of course you love her but just because you're not a psychic doesn't make you a creep.
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advice from Guest1247975 | 10-25-2007 22:06 | E : 1 | S : 0
well, apologize for frightening her, cuddle and make out and then tell her that you'd prefer to her to get on top from now on so that she can dictate what you do and how far you go.
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advice from Guest1200364 | 10-21-2007 07:16 | E : 0 | S : 0
i know where she is coming from i have sexual abuse in my past and i have worked through it and am perfectly normal when it comes to all that. you simply need to let her know that even though you may be guiding her you do not intend to make her do anything she doesnt want to do. let her know that she can trust you unlike she could with him.you are different then he was she is simply reacting to the memory not to your actual intention.
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advice from Guest1260564 | 10-27-2007 11:19 | E : 0 | S : 0
I also know and I agree, ask her what she is comfortable with and what reminds her of him. My bf & i sat down and talked about it and we figured out what was good for both of us. When we try something new we take it slow and I know its ok to say stop
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advice from Guest3285745 | 11-17-2007 01:56 | E : 0 | S : 0
You have to understand that something like that is painful, and it doesn't help to have to relive it over and over again. It's not your fault, it's just that something you did must have triggered a memory of the incident. Just let her come to you. Don't force things. In time she'll get up the courage to talk to you about it and then you'll understand it better, but until then just give her a little space and let her know that you don't want to do anything she doesn't want to do and most of all, that you love her.
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advice from Guest1197263 | 11-30-2007 17:13 | E : 0 | S : 0
Talk about it with her. He's the creep, you're not him. Romance is different from just sex. Know and tell her the difference.
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advice from Guest1610976 | 12-01-2007 01:11 | E : 0 | S : 0
don't worry, you haven't done anything wrong. you will not do to her what he did because you love her. the two of you should talk about what upsets to her so that this doesn't happen again; it's not right for her to feel frightened or for you to feel guilty.
this is a difficult situation and i'm sorry. you're a very sweet boy.
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advice from Guest1281659 | 10-30-2007 00:48 | E : 0 | S : 1
let her know you're will to wait as long as it takes for her to be comfortable with you and be sure that you mean it.
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advice from Guest1395515 | 11-10-2007 18:24 | E : 0 | S : 1
Apologize to her. That's all you can do. If you'd known or she'd tried to tell you, that would be a different story. But you didn't, so...
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advice from Guest1163646 | 11-12-2007 09:25 | E : 0 | S : 1
you're not a creep, you haven't asked her to do anything after she told u this for a month. I think u've learned from this experience. Just let her control what happens.
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