I ache

I am a teen Bible Study teacher. Ever since college, I've lost control of my life. I've partied non stop, however went to church to teach other teens every sunday. If only they knew the real me, I'm not so perfect. I've recently started modeling again and posed nude twice in the past 3months. No matter how many times I confess my sins, I feel dirty, and weighed down...feeling so far from god. Today was the first time I cut myself, I'm so afraid of my future.
Category Dirty Little Secret

advice from Guest2543813 | 03-05-2008 21:49 | E : 0 | S : 0
I'm sorry you feel so sad, I relate well to you & I understand your pain, I often want to hurt myself, yet at the same time, to feel closer to God
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advice from Guest1789369 | 03-08-2008 19:17 | E : 0 | S : 0
You dont actually have to be perfect and all the christians I know are far from it. Whilst the church tolerates and protects child molesting priests, you should not be afraid of the choices you have made if they have not hurt anyone else. You need to do what is right for you which sounds like quiting some of the partying as it sounds out of control but dont feel pressure to be perfect or worry about what other will think. It only matters that you can live with yourself, I am sure its considered unchirtianlike to judge others anyway so ditch them if they judge you. being a fun partying person does not make you a bad christian if you are not hurting anyone else. Giod didnt write the bible and god hasnt actually spoken to anyone so know one can tell you that god does not approve as it is mans morals, not gods, that they are refering to.
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advice from Guest2652307 | 03-15-2008 17:48 | E : 0 | S : 0
Instead of cutting yourself, cut back on the partying, and focus on your faith. If you are truely sorry about the sins you have commited then God will always forgive you. Try to find others who are compasionate about the same faith as you and confide in them when you start feeling depressed. There is no shame or self rightousness in asking someone to pray for you when you could truely need the comfort it provides. I pray that all works out for you in the right way.
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advice from Guest1355711 | 03-17-2008 11:43 | E : 0 | S : 0
totally opposite..

u must choose between god or this

if u choose to be close to god n keep this bible study going, u cant be a real teacher if u have this other stuff going on and constantly making urself feel guilty

ur not required to have faith in god, maybe this wasnt meant for u. if u want to keep partying and posing nude, keep at it, just make sure u find something that ur looking for to stop this and realize what u really want in life.

maybe god is the answer and u just have to realize these faults and right them, n realize its time to change for the better

this is ur life, u gotta choose ur own path
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advice from Guest2705521 | 03-20-2008 08:49 | E : 0 | S : 0
I'm praying for you... and Yes, god still loves you more than anything
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advice from Guest2710457 | 03-21-2008 00:22 | E : 0 | S : 0
God's with you whether you feel it or not. He loves you. There are a few things I think you should do. First of all, stop teaching teen bible classes. Having to put up a strong, righteous front is only making things worse. Find someone you trust and talk to them, ask them to keep you accountable.
Thank you for sharing this, it makes me feel like I'm not alone. I'll be praying for you.
Romans 3:23-24
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advice from Guest2727971 | 03-22-2008 16:51 | E : 0 | S : 0
God forgives, so you must forgive yourself too. Nobody said you had to be perfect. The best you can be is a good person in which you already seem to be. Your actions don't make you who you are. But get help. And not for anyone else but yourself.
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