I don't know myself anymore

Throughout my life I have prided myself in knowing that I am a loyal to my husband. Never cheated.Not once. Recently however, exposed myself to another man. I think about cheating. What it would be like (I've only been with one man in all my life). I feel SO wrong for having these thoughts but I can't make it go away. The most heartbreaking part about all this is that I have a close to perfect marriage. The envy of all my friends. How am I capable of thinking and feeling this way. I was never like this. Not in my wildest dreams did I ever imagine that I'd ever even think of being disloyal to someone. Especially someone who loves me and I love him. I'm so confused and beginning to think that I really don't know myself anymore.

Category Betrayal

advice from Guest2919251 | 04-19-2007 08:44 | E : 4 | S : 0
Don't do it. I'm a man and I've also have come close to your position, but you need to look ahead and see the future. What are you going to do then? Are you willing to live with that guilt for the rest of your life? or are you going to tell your husband at some point and break not only his heart and pride but most important his trust in you.

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advice from Guest2970733 | 04-23-2007 18:13 | E : 3 | S : 0
yes dont do it. i promise the out come will scare for life. it may be a fantasy but very soon after you commit to the adultry it will devastate you and him. if you never tell him then you can never have a loyal, devoted relationship. most couples dont survive adultry. if you want to fight the urge you should do whatever it is to not let yourself get caught up into the moment. please dont do it!

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advice from Guest3166278 | 05-25-2007 13:27 | E : 2 | S : 0
Maybe you should see a counselor. Since you say your marriage is good, the issue here is probably something else other than you're not in love with your husband. Perhaps you feel too tied down, or are bored with your life. Figure out what is making you feel this way, and work on that. You are committed to your husband. You took the vows. Keep them! It will be worth it in the end!

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advice from Guest3030439 | 04-30-2007 09:55 | E : 2 | S : 1
Interesting, well good luck you're slinding down a slippery slope. I came home early from a trip, got picked up at the airport and finally had to outright say 'shouldn't we be in the bedroom by now?' Flustered response and then she got into bed, as we began the motion I smelled her and it was a smell I rememember from our past, when we had fun sex. Guess why she didn't kiss me? Well I went ahead and did my thing, got dressed, went to the office and I'm looking up divorce attorneys and private dicks - she won't suffer much cause her family is loaded and can help her out - but I'm keeping the home, most of the cool stuff, and might take her car out of spite. Unfortunately, the dog is a documented gift and would remain with her ... grrr ... My point is, either put on some lingerie and jump your husband tonight and remind him and you that he's all you really love - or show some class, fess up and move on with your lives so that he can find someone new.

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advice from Guest3107692 | 05-10-2007 10:38 | E : 2 | S : 1
Challenges like that always come when you have absolute happiness. Perhaps you are beign tested. Do you honor the gifts that have been given to you? If not, can I have your husband? I've gone 34 years without ever finding a man like you have described.

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advice from Guest3209561 | 06-07-2007 05:27 | E : 1 | S : 0
Don't Do it...I did it, fell in love with the other man, I told my husband after 3 years of playing cat and mouse with this guy. My husband was crushed, He threw me out, my kids were angry with me and my daughter told my neighbors, family and all my friends that basically her Mom was a whore. I never heard from the guy again. It's been two years and I still think of him everyday. My husband has taken me back, but the trust is gone...DONT DO it
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advice from Guest3226258 | 06-11-2007 19:47 | E : 1 | S : 0
Of course u shouldnt do it.
But i think that it's just human nature to look and have thoughts towards other people of the opposite sex. It's a nature/instinct thing.
You will get past it.
I know I did.
:)
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advice from Guest1013366 | 09-24-2007 14:17 | E : 1 | S : 0
It's human nature..but the guilt afterward will be unbearable! Everyone hits these obstacles in their marriage, it's a test to see how strong your committment really is. If it helps any..imagine yourself with (insert other male name here)when being intimate with your husband and maybe you could satisfy the feeling without ever doing the deed!
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advice from Guest1773873 | 12-15-2007 01:55 | E : 1 | S : 0
Thank you. These are my EXACT words in my heart this last week. I've made my decision. The "innocent fun" ends tomorrow. No more playing Russian roulette with my marriage, no more "harmless flirting". Thank you so much. Thank you.
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advice from Guest3264369 | 06-20-2007 19:57 | E : 0 | S : 0
You know its wrong I wish You would not then I could look up to you, not manny woman are so loyal, you should be proud and stay thet way, noe you can be more proud for not givving in. You love him that much. If he ever found out it would break his heart.Even if he doesnt say it he is proud of his wife too. You want him to be always? It can ruin a marriage, It wont be his anymore. Have you ever been cheated on? The feeling is pain. So it maybe a moment of fun for you, it can be a life time of pain. do u have kids? It can hurt them too. You want them too see the love of 2 adults. Be faithfull. Pray about it, maybee go skydiving, something good crazy, do something different with him.
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advice from Guest1062919 | 10-02-2007 00:07 | E : 0 | S : 0
DO WHATEVER MAKES YOU FEEL GOOD
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advice from Guest2155013 | 01-23-2008 17:35 | E : 0 | S : 0
i think this is a completely normal way to think. after being for someone for so long, everyone around seems more interesting in every way. try not to cheat though. it should get better.
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advice from Guest3025811 | 04-29-2007 21:18 | E : 0 | S : 1
Sometimes we want things to tell us what is right. Here there is no right answer. I want you sit and think and weigh your options. Have you tried talking to your husband? Tell him that you want to spice things up a bit. You should try to create more of a magic atmospere in your relationship.

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advice from Guest2155218 | 01-23-2008 17:49 | E : 0 | S : 2
Go ahead and do it. Get it out of your system. Experience life, there is no such thing as forever. Just do it for your needs and not in reaction to your husband. Use protection and have fun. Enjoy.
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advice from Guest3186723 | 05-31-2007 10:15 | E : 0 | S : 3
BIOLOGY makes it okay for the woman to cheat? Well I need a hot woman to perform at my best; so if the woman I'm with puts on a few pounds ... forget her and s___ some fresh meat. Yeah, that makes a lot of sense.
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advice from Guest2963112 | 04-24-2007 23:32 | E : 1 | S : 6

One night stands (NOT AFFAIRS) are generally not discovered. You have to weigh out your options.

Are you going to get caught?

From a strictly biological point of view, women need variety too. Mostly because we want the healthiest, most viril man to be the father of our child and we want as much competition as possible.

Think about this carefully. Is it worth risking your marriage? Is there a chance that you might get caught? If you are caught, will he leave you? Will trust be broken? Nobody wants to wind up alone.
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