I hate being dependent on medication

I am mentally ill. I have bipolar disorder and some parts of borderline personality disorder. I have to take lots of different doses of medication 3 times a day, which I hate. If I don't take the pills, I become suicidal, depressed or manic, paranoid, or have hallucinations. If I don't take the pills, they might put me in the hospital again. I tried not taking them the other night and it was awful.

The good part is that I'm doing well with my treatment.
The bad part is that I will be this way for the rest of my life. I hate being so dependent on the pills.

Category Dirty Little Secret

advice from Guest2180932 | 02-01-2007 01:06 | E : 5 | S : 0
If they told you that it was diabetes, would you feel the same way about insulin? How about cancer and chemotherapy?
Just because it's mental illness doesn't mean it isn't an illness.
You take the meds to stay healthy. Don't worry so much about being dependent on the pills - focus on the fact that there's something out there that helps!
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advice from Guest2140046 | 01-28-2007 22:47 | E : 3 | S : 0
Mentally Ill,I have been mentally ill since I was 10 years old. I take close to 40 meds per day.And taking all the meds is a pain,but the agony of being sick and in the hospital again is a great motivator.So hang in there.
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advice from Guest2421182 | 02-25-2007 10:14 | E : 0 | S : 0
I cannot imagine what you are going through, to be an independant person and haven that feeling taken away everytime to swallow a pill, but I do believe that with effort and an optimistic attitude you will realize that you are not inhibited by the drugs and you are your own person.
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advice from Guest2427688 | 02-26-2007 02:09 | E : 0 | S : 0
I have a close friend suffering from ADHD. I know from up close what it's like to have to depend on medication. Another friend of mine has a manic-depressed mum. She depends on probably about the same drugs as you do. But your medicine use doesn't have to be final. Believe in humanity is my golden tip. 100 years ago, just a bit more than the average age of a human, we didn't even know how to transplant organs, and couldn't cure diseases currently banned from the world. The world of medicine advanced so great, that the chance a cure will be found within your lifetime is real. Hold on to that, it would keep me going, and keeps my close friend and that mum going too!
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advice from Guest2575747 | 03-15-2007 05:54 | E : 0 | S : 0
I feel your pain. I have been successful at everything I have done my whole life and now I'm a slave to medication for bipolar disorder. If I don't take my medication I flip out, the worst part is that I don't even know I'm flipping out. My advice to you is to follow your treatment and accept your illness. If you don't accept what you have, the battle will become worse.
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advice from Guest2579763 | 03-15-2007 15:22 | E : 0 | S : 0
I am also using medication for my mental illness and i would not live without it, because it makes my life better, than without. If i didnt have the pills, i would live with fear and depression, but now im free. Just like one of the others are saying here: If it was diabetes, you wouldnt feel the same way. But you and I got a mental ilness, and medication helps us on our way though life. Nothing to be ashame of. I thank god, that i live better today because of the medication.
Lots of love from E.
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advice from Guest2672193 | 03-25-2007 22:40 | E : 0 | S : 0
I love 1st response from Guest2180932. I take pills for anxiety disorder and feel badly sometimes that I am dependent on pills.
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advice from Guest2761244 | 04-04-2007 08:23 | E : 0 | S : 0
my girlfriend is like you... she is all those things, and a little more... she probably feels the same way you do, but the thing is accually happy..... of course, i know nobody likes taking pills, i had to for 5 years(parents fighting and got divorced...i was part of it...)
so i know where you are coming off.... they do help though... ^^
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advice from Guest2876693 | 05-05-2007 23:42 | E : 0 | S : 0
I have GAD and I started taking meds because I couldnt function outside of my house without freaking out. I stopped a few weeks ago because they created this euphoric state. Now I see things, I cry uncontrollably....

If you like the place where you are while on your meds you should take them. I didnt like the fake happiness I experienced so I stopped. Not everyone can deal with the consequences like I can.

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advice from Guest3207130 | 06-06-2007 12:01 | E : 0 | S : 0
I take pills for anxiety and depression... and although my situation is not as intense as yours, I feel your frustration. I hate the way I feel, emotionally and physically, when I stop taking them for even 24 hours... but what I am uncomfortable with even more is being dependant on something that is not naturally "me". I want my body to be able to produce these chemicals and hormones naturally, and not be aware of how they affect more anymore.
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advice from Guest3429813 | 07-22-2007 03:20 | E : 0 | S : 0
I understand your frustration. But like that person said, it's just like having diabetes etc. Some people have to take pills for their physical problems, you have to for your nerological/emotional problems. It doesn't make you any less of a person. In fact most people with Bi-Polar are exceptionally intelligent people.
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advice from Guest915879 | 09-11-2007 12:04 | E : 0 | S : 0
i hope this doesn't sound rude as i have had similar struggles
but, one word: counselling
pills are like putting a blanket over the mess
they don't cure anything, just prolong the time until you actually have to face the problem
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advice from Guest2270593 | 02-06-2008 00:57 | E : 0 | S : 0
I think I understand how you feel. I have ADHD with a violent tic. I went from being independent to completely dependent upon pills in a matter of two years. It started off with my toe moving back and forth for just a second and now I can't control the muscles in the right side of my body and some of my left without taking three pills a day which I'll be on for the rest of my life. It's given me depression, which has me on two more pills a day. I have the mental issues like you, but I'm afraid to bring them up with my doctors again because I don't want to be on any more pills.
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