I lied a lot

I lie so much about my past that now at 41 I have a hard time even knowing the truth. I'm so good at it that I beat a lie detector test at a police dept when getting a job there not as a policeman like I say to people but as a dispatcher. Now after being caught in one big one and my lover leaving me for it and well I did actully love this person I am going strait and I'm having a hard time remembering facts from fiction. But my inclination is to lie some more to get them back but then what then? I do not know how to make it better so I have lost a great person for like nothing.
Category Embarrassed