I need help

I love him. He is a jerk and I dont want to give my virginity to him but I know it won't be long before I do. I am doing things that aren't like me... i cut class, my grades are dropping, i'm not even sure if i believe in God anymore. everyone thinks i have it all together, i can't talk to any of them. my life is going out of control because i'm in love. i can't do anything about it. i drink to ease the pain and i know its hurting me. i need help, but don't know what to do.

Category Didn't Want To Know - But I Do

advice from Guest3144649 | 05-20-2007 00:12 | E : 4 | S : 0
you sould end this thing with him because it's hurting and confusing you inside and out. You think it is love, but do you picture seeing yourself with him in the future?
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advice from Guest3166715 | 05-25-2007 17:11 | E : 4 | S : 0
i know its pretty f______ confusing but here is what i would do. dont sleep with him. you will regret it. find someone to talk to. like a school counselor or a close friend. careful with your drinking cause anything could happen.

love is a state of mind and you need to change yours.
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advice from Guest3179179 | 05-29-2007 10:45 | E : 3 | S : 1
He's a loser headed down a one way street and dragging you down with him. Plenty of fish in the sea, get away while you can!
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advice from Guest3204906 | 06-05-2007 16:52 | E : 3 | S : 1
I know how you feel. My sister tried to kill herself about a month ago. Everyone thinks that im ok now that she is safe. I'm not. I have been put through peer pressure to hurt myself. I know the feeling of being lost and confused.

don't give up. move on. break up with him. and go back to God. life sucks right now but he WILL help you through..

maybe i should take my own advice.

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advice from Guest3212246 | 06-08-2007 04:20 | E : 2 | S : 0
You only think it's love, sweety. It's not. Get as far away from him as you can. Don't give him your virginity, that's meant for someone who loves you and treats you like you're a princess even though he doesn't have to.

It's meant for someone you truly love and want to spend the rest of your life with. Not for some jerk who treats you like shit and wants to get in your pants.

If you're still confused, call the Girls and Boys Town National Hotline. They don't care what your age is, it's for everyone. It really DOES help.
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advice from Guest1111924 | 10-09-2007 03:32 | E : 1 | S : 0
Just because they want to have sex with you does not mean that they care about you. If you are a virgin, be proud, I wish I still was...
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advice from Guest2285208 | 02-07-2008 22:01 | E : 1 | S : 0
the same thing happened to me. exactly. and it took me two years to realize the grave mistake i had made. get out while you still can. this is not love.
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advice from Guest3264369 | 06-20-2007 20:07 | E : 0 | S : 0
I am a Christian and all that happened to me, only i started smoking crack got pregnant and lost custody of my kid. the man left state. It has taken me years to pick up the pieces and not everyone does. I thought it would never happen to me. I could cry every night for something i screwed up. I am sober working and won custody back of my son. I still feel like the screw up, but people forgot and im doing verry good. Please dont go down that path. It is not worth it. There is time travel you can change the past starting now by making good decions, because what you do today will be your past,
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advice from Guest3271192 | 06-22-2007 09:25 | E : 0 | S : 0
if you give it up to him you WILL regret it! don't focus on pulling your life back together as one big picture, try it one little step at a time. Maybe revise a bit for a class test coming up or start a diary to ease the pain instead of drink, you will find this trouble patch much easier if you talk to someone about it! Also the first and most important thing is that you BREAK UP WITH THIS JERK! I promise you if you explain your situation to a very close friend or a parent they will be supportive not judgemental, (i have made that mistake before myself) But the longer you leave it the harder it wil be to sort yourself out so get a move on babes, there IS a light at the end of the high school tunnel...
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advice from Guest3271948 | 06-23-2007 04:13 | E : 0 | S : 0
Don't sleep with him if you don't want to. Do you believe that he loves you?
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advice from Guest3282503 | 06-24-2007 23:57 | E : 0 | S : 0
if he causes you so much pain, why do you love him? honestly- you will probably find that what you're feeling isn't love at all. find god again in whatever way makes the most sense to you- church, temple, meditation... whatever. take all the love you've been giving him, and give it to god. then find someone new to love, someone who will genuinely care for you.
i found this the hard way- i had to be with a complete jerk before i learned to love myself, and then i found real love, and once that happened, that's actually when i found god. yes- its completely backwards, but its what worked for me.
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advice from Guest3297988 | 06-28-2007 17:44 | E : 0 | S : 0
you not in love it's just lust.....
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advice from Guest3336571 | 07-06-2007 15:57 | E : 0 | S : 0
Get away from him, ignore his calls/emails/pop-ups/etc ... if he continues, go to your parents and tell them he creeps you out. He will destroy you and rob you of your youth. Good luck!
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advice from Guest3360816 | 07-11-2007 18:52 | E : 1 | S : 1
Pray... Then call him. Tell him that you can't see him anymore. Tell him off easily... You're broken heart will soon be mended afterwards. Then see a counseler for the other problems... But, before you make a decision, think about what's more important... You and you're health, or him? You're not really in love with him if he is as uch of an a__ as you say he is...
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advice from Guest3365659 | 07-12-2007 14:11 | E : 0 | S : 0
ok... I know you love him...but if he's a jerk like you admitted... he makes you cut class and is making your grades drop....If he's driving you to drink to ease the pain.... and If he wants you to give your virginity to him... he's not worth is... If everyone thinks that you have it all together... you must really be somthing.... don't waste it on someone who only wants you for your body... trust me hun... your worth much more than that...
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advice from Guest3375917 | 07-13-2007 22:16 | E : 0 | S : 0
Think of yourself as a castle. You gotta defend it! If he's a jerk then why are you with him? trust me, Dating some guy because he's cool or fun to hang around with isn't a good reason if you don't like yourself while your doing it. I've been there. It just hurts you. Why would you wanna do that?
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advice from Guest3603874 | 08-23-2007 12:26 | E : 0 | S : 0
don't give it to a jerk, you will only regret it. i know that's a typical thing to say. but it is so true.
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advice from Guest770175 | 08-24-2007 17:08 | E : 0 | S : 0
I gave my virginity to a jerk who was 3 years older than me and just wanted sex. To this day - 8 years later - I still think about him and wonder why I did it. You make your own choices, I would change that choice I made if I could.

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advice from Guest795083 | 08-26-2007 04:03 | E : 1 | S : 1
i read this, and for a minute i thought it was me.
i did sleep with him, before his mates raped me.
i was expelled from school twice before dropping out and i still can't get my life back on track.

if you still check this.
i hope you didnt do it.
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advice from Guest1003443 | 10-06-2007 00:11 | E : 0 | S : 0
he doenst love you, you dont actually love him,
and he's using you.
he'll sleep with you and he'll only call you when he wants more.
trust me, living with that regret is one of the hardest things you'll ever do if you go through with it.
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advice from Guest1148896 | 10-14-2007 05:31 | E : 0 | S : 0
I wish you would step back from that ledge my friend. You could cut ties with all the lies that you've been living in.
~ Jumper - Third Eye Blind

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advice from Guest1473828 | 12-26-2007 08:46 | E : 0 | S : 0
if you have to drink to ease the pain and so forth - you are not in love

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advice from Guest2012704 | 01-08-2008 17:44 | E : 0 | S : 0
I've been where you are. It hurts so much. You are afraid at every moment that he will just end it all, but that could be the one thing that will start the healing process. Please don't sleep with him, then it gives him even more emotional power over you. I wish I could forget my first, but its impossible. The hardest lesson I have learned is that when your life is going crazy (grades slipping, changing beliefs, cutting class, escaping with alcohol) you have to recognize that no matter how much it hurts to walk away...your future depends on it.
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advice from Guest2653841 | 03-15-2008 21:17 | E : 0 | S : 0
I did that. I find that i do it over and over everytime i get the strength to stop it with one man, i move to the next.

get out. be happy with yourself before you jump into a relationship. that love will eventually die, i know.
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advice from Guest3169144 | 05-26-2007 16:03 | E : 1 | S : 2
I thought it was love too... I gave him my virginity on wednesday and i dont regret it but i wont tell anyone. Im going to keep it a secret because i know everyone will be disappointed in me if they find out.
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