Im so stupid

I wish I never would've installed that secret keylogger on our computer to see what my husband of 11 yrs. is lying to me about. I can't believe some of things he's lied about to total strangers. He's told lies about himself, me, our children, almost every aspect of our lives has been lied about. He lies about things that are so minimal too, things he doesn't need to lie about. Sometimes I think he's actually leading a double life. He tells lies to people he doesn't even know, people who will never have any effect on his/our everyday lives. And I don't have the guts to confront him, even when I know he's telling a lie to my face. Even when I have 100% hard evidence to contradict what he's telling me, I still can't confront him. I love him very much, but now I wonder how warped and distorted my sense of love really is. I WISH I NEVER KNEW ABOUT ALL THE LIES HE'S TOLD.

Category Didn't Want To Know - But I Do

advice from Guest1408138 | 11-12-2007 02:07 | E : 2 | S : 0
I completely feel your pain. My father is exactly the way your husband is. After being elaborately lied to all my life when I was 13 I found out my father had never been in Vietnam. The lying hurts me so much that today I can't even be around him. The lies will only get worse if you don't seek professional help. Don't wish you never knew, be grateful that you are aware that there is a problem. Only then can you find a solution.
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advice from Guest1333935 | 11-05-2007 06:08 | E : 1 | S : 1
you're not stupid. but you must tell him you know or you will never have any peace.

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advice from Guest1566690 | 11-26-2007 18:29 | E : 0 | S : 0
just talk to him about it. maybe he just gets a morbid sense of satisfaction about creating or making his life exciting to someone who could never know the difference. remind him that you are his friend! communicate! you are married to him, confront him, talk to him about it...that is what love is about. going through the tough times and finding a solution. maybe he's just really bored. :)
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advice from Guest1576082 | 11-27-2007 15:04 | E : 0 | S : 0
mabey he is just insecure. He makes these lies to try to be seem more important. It now could have turned into a bad habit, that he doesn't know how to stop . Be patient with him. Be his guide, not his executioner.
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advice from Guest2113736 | 01-19-2008 03:04 | E : 1 | S : 1
That's the point! The Internet is about being anonymous. Why would he tell the truth about you and your family? These aren't lies any more than a hollywood screenwriter drafting a script. It's an outlet. You should be more concerned if he was telling perfect strangers about you and your children.
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advice from Guest2574324 | 03-09-2008 08:16 | E : 0 | S : 0
Is this person also an alchoholic? One of the most common traits of an alchoholic beyond the addiction itself is habitual lying. This is not a simple stereotype and the lies often have nothing to do with the addiction, its just part of the alchoholic mindset and medical research has been aimed at figuring out if this is something that happens to an alchoholics brain. If they do not drink, it could still be part of the emotional reason, which is low self esteem. Lies over nothing and anything are common, from small things to big things, and often center around the liar saying things to offset their low self esteem and insecurities. You eventually DO have to do something about this, living with a habitual liar is going to be a personal nightmare that you do not deserve.
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advice from Guest1181206 | 10-19-2007 17:03 | E : 0 | S : 1
Well, sometimes people need an outlet. If you think it's all talk then you don't really have too much to worry about, just try to liven up the relationship and make him feel extra special. He'll forget about a secret double fantasy life is his real world is a dream. You spent a lot of thought tracking down his activity now it's time to redirect him into a mutually more positive path together.
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advice from Guest1275677 | 10-30-2007 04:22 | E : 0 | S : 2
KICK HIS A__ TO THE CURB. Who does he think he is? You are his wife and with that comes a right to be loved and cherished.
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