In LOVE with my BEST friend who has a BOYFRIEND

I'm in love with my best friend who has a boyfriend. So, I've known my best friend for almost two years now. At first, I wasn't attracted to her and I had no interest in pursuing her. I thought that we were the best of friends and I didn't want that to change - at all. She's known her boyfriend for five years and has been dating him for three years. I thought that they were a really nice couple and I had no intentions of butting into their relationship. Ever since last year, she's been telling me about how she needed to kiss someone other than her boyfriend because she's only kissed one person and she felt like she needed to experience someone else's kiss. So, after a year of nagging me to kiss her and me trying to resist her, she finally couldn't take it anymore and decided to "temporarily" break up with her boyfriend to kiss me. Finally, during summer, right after "temporarily" breaking up with her boyfriend, she decided to kiss me, and I figured since I was her best friend, I'd help her rid of her problem by giving her a simple kiss. After the kiss, we engaged in some sexual activities. At the time, it felt like it was right - as if it was the right thing to do for her. After two nights of sexual activities, she felt guilty and decided to call her boyfriend crying in front of me. So, now, since she doesn't want to lose me and her boyfriend, she is trying to please both me and her boyfriend expecting both of us to stay. I love her so much that it would just kill me if I left her, so, now, as much as it's hurting me, I'm staying for her own sake. She says she loves both of us but in different ways. She keeps on changing her mind back and forth about being "in love" with her boyfriend. I don't understand. After everything that's happened, I feel like I want to be with her now. I want to be her boyfriend. But, I know for a fact that that's not going to happen. Now, I struggle in pain trying to be her best friend. And, funny thing is, I keep on telling her everything that I think about her, but, the more I tell her, the more she gets annoyed. Now, she treats me like someone who's pathetic. I'm driven up against a wall and I don't know how to escape. I'm so sc*.

soo, basically:
a) I can't leave her because that'd cause a really big problem
b) She's "in love" with her boyfriend even though she told me she loves me like none other and she's sexually attracted to me (even more than her boyfriend)
c) I get hurt whenever I see her, and when I don't see her, I still get hurt thinking about her + the fact that I have see her everyday
d) I'm so s*
Category Romance

advice from Guest821011 | 01-10-2007 08:01 | E : 0 | S : 0
I don't know if this will be helpful to you, but I know this story. I've seen it from the outside before and I've been in your seat too. It sounds like her hormones are in overdrive. I think she will be a difficult person to be in a relationship with until her 20s - possibly even her 30s. Your best option is to remain a friend but create some distance - when she realizes that her power over you is diminishing there will be an emotional storm but in the long run she'll likely stay available to you. If you are still interested, give it another shot when she levels out.
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advice from Guest2469775 | 03-05-2007 14:54 | E : 0 | S : 0
Looks like you blew your chance dude, seems as though she really loves her boyfriend and nothing can change it. Seems as though u moved too soon, shoulda waited bruv ratha than being a typical bloke just wanting sexual activities. The best thing is to try and stay friends but if its hurting you so much and you love her even though you aint with her then let go but dont just let her go all of a sudden and hurt her, if you love her you dont wanna hurt her, good luck bruv
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advice from Guest2689866 | 03-27-2007 21:39 | E : 0 | S : 0
Someone is going to get hurt no matter what you do. You need to do whats best for yourself, because being her best friend, what is good for you is good for her as well. Tell her that you just need some time away from her so that you have a fighting chance at moving on. Why make you friendship terrible with her for a long time, when a little time away could help solve things? If it doesn't help the situation, then you have lost nothing and you two will be back to the same place you started (admittedly not a good situation, but doubtfully worse).

BTW, your not alone
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