Lonely

My boyfriend is in jail for a non-violent crime. I promised him that I would not tell anyone, and since he works freelance, it is easy for him to hide this "vacation" from his coworkers. We are both professionals in our fields and the repercussions of people knowing may ruin us. But I am so lonely, and have nobody to talk to about this, and I'm quickly falling into a depression. The crappy part of it all is that everyone has to think that I'm just fine in order to keep up this ruse. I have already had to lie to the neighbors and one friend, and I hate lying. A little tiny part of me resents him for putting me in this position, but I still love him above all. Is that absolutely horrible?
Category Embarrassed

advice from Guest1877159 | 12-24-2007 22:33 | E : 1 | S : 0
No, it isn't horrible. He did the crime, yes, but you have to "suffer" for it as well as he has to be away from you and you are forced to lie. It sounds like you "don't mind" lying in the sense that you have no huge reservations against it, but maybe you can write to him and tell him how upset and lonely you are (with some positive things too. Send him a crossword puzzle or something). It may cause him to think again about what he's done. He's probably lonely too. I admire your loyalty to your boyfriend but please try not to let this take over your life as well. Maybe find some online support groups for people whose loved once are incarcerated?

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advice from Guest1961213 | 01-03-2008 14:17 | E : 1 | S : 0
Anytime someone asks for a favor that compromises your mental stability, you have to think about your health first. I don't know the circumstances, but you don't deserve to be punished for his mistake.
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advice from Guest1803981 | 12-22-2007 13:06 | E : 0 | S : 0
somtimes life hands us theses trials to see if we can handle them. if you stick it out it can only make you weak or stronger. you are the one to decide what is gonna be.

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advice from Guest1853117 | 12-22-2007 07:40 | E : 0 | S : 1
Hey
No, it's not horrible. Even if whatever he did is very bad it's a reflection on him and not you, and I hope that whatever it was he won't do it again after this. I do not know that what he did requires all this secrecy, but you must realize that this is his burden to bear more than it is yours, and it's not right that you bear all this guilt on his behalf
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