Love is not a needle

My on/off boyfriend has an addiction. His parents introduced him to heroin and now he can't stop. His mom and dad are in custody right now, and my one true love has been trying to stop. He's been getting help. He told me he stopped a month ago, and the other day I visited him in his room, and I found a used syringe under his bed (which looked fresh). I felt so bad; I screamed and cursed and yelled, and I accidentally made him cry. I can't let a 24 year old ruin his life like that... Earlier today I came home to find him bent on one knee, asking me to marry him. We've been together for 5 years, and he loves me and I love him more than air, but I don't know if I can handle the stress of babying him. I've cried all day. I don't know what to do... should I tie the knot with an addict?
Category Romance

advice from Guest3658189 | 08-20-2007 08:21 | E : 3 | S : 0
NO, tell him that if he loves you and want to build a life with you then he has gotta quit first! you go girl!
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advice from Guest759322 | 08-23-2007 02:16 | E : 1 | S : 0
take care of YOURSELF first.
imagine loving him while u have kids together, own a house together, trying to do homework together, trying to save 4 family crisis' together.... all the while battling addiction? it dont work that easy.
he needs to take care of himself b4 he can care truly 4 someone else.
you can still be there 4 him- but could you really see urself making him stop? he is the only one who can.
my first love-20 yrs ago was into drugs.. as we both were. 7 years later he still was and I was not. 10 years later I still loved him but he still loved the drugs more.
now almost 20 years later.. I check on him once in a while.. all the while still loving him...but I grew up, I loved more, I cared more about myself than he did.
I am married, 2 kids a wonderful job, a house and 2 pets.
he is still running from the law, hides at his mothers house and still dates gurls younger than him because he has no life left.
I still love him the same.. love doesnt shut off.
I just found I loved myself more than that.
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advice from Guest812863 | 08-31-2007 06:14 | E : 1 | S : 0
He needs you, but you need him also, tell him that you can't marry him until he stops putting all that stress on you, he knows that it worries you, and if he loves you enough to marry you, then, although hard, it should be easier for him to let go of the heroin than let go of you.
Give him time though.
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advice from Guest886755 | 09-07-2007 01:44 | E : 1 | S : 0
Absolutely not. His only chance of dropping this addiction is getting away from everything he knows. I was a drug abuser, I can tell you that if you marry him, he'll always know that he can use and you'll take him back - you're doing it now. If you marry him, its not a matter of "if" but "when".
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advice from Guest3271948 | 07-05-2007 11:00 | E : 1 | S : 1
NO. You will always play second fiddle to the drugs.
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advice from Guest845606 | 09-01-2007 08:17 | E : 0 | S : 0
just dont do it..he'll use you as his "rock" to get better..and then he won't be the same person..and after 5-10-20-36 years of being clean..he'll still think about using...even off the drugs..srug addicts are always..forever sick..i wish you luck and happiness
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advice from Guest847053 | 09-01-2007 13:53 | E : 0 | S : 0
no, i know you love him and in your heart the answer is yes but think about it... you're going to live with an addict probably for the rest of your life... just with all the stress it's going to lead into you not loving him... i've been there... i know from experience
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advice from Guest883990 | 09-06-2007 19:05 | E : 2 | S : 2
No, my father is a heroin addict, he has been under the needle his entire life. It doesent matter if you say yes, or no. He wont change! Tell me people are diffrent and that my father and your boyfriend are 2 total opposites. It dosent matter, heroin will ruin your life!!! Its as simple as that!
Let me tell you a little story, something that awaits you if you choose him for your husband and the father of your children.
At the age of 7 I went to go visit pirates with my father. Yes, pirates, at least thats what he told me. We got to this apartment and what happened there I will never forget. My father had brought the heroin, and his junky "pirate" friends had eagerly been waiting for it. They all shoot themselves up, and when it became my fathers turn, I held the spoon for him.
Do you understand that he still loved me, and that he still loved my mother, but he was enslaved to heroin. Sometimes I wish it would have killed him. Not because I hate him but because i love him. He brought so much pain on everyone else, not just himself.
And this is what awaits you!
Say no, leave him, dont even give him a choice.
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advice from Guest886884 | 09-07-2007 02:47 | E : 0 | S : 0
No dear. Absolutely not. i'm was addicted to heroin and thought of it as my lover and best friend that tried to kill me. It's hard to understand, but that is addiction......Take care of yourself because truth is, that's all you have control over. 15 years and then several years of trying to finally kick and I made it. Addicts are good people, but lost in a world you can't understand. Let him fight his way out with your encouragement, but no marriage. DO WHAT"S GOOD FOR YOU, and everything else will come around.
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advice from Guest908149 | 09-10-2007 02:36 | E : 0 | S : 0
make him quit first.
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advice from Guest908678 | 09-10-2007 02:55 | E : 0 | S : 0
You shouldn't in his current condition. Send him to rehab first, for a good long time. Give it a couple years. He'll be addicted for the rest of his life, but some people can beat it and stay away from it. Also, if he has friends that he does it with, I recommend making sure he doesn't see them. Move if you have to, but if there's other addicts around the possibility of him relapsing is that much bigger. So do what you want, just know that he'll never be truly over it, and there's always a possibility that he'll go back to it.
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advice from Guest950110 | 09-16-2007 13:35 | E : 0 | S : 0
NO NO NO!
It won't be good for him or you to tie the knot with an addict - get him help first. Tell him when he's clean you'd love to marry him. But he has to be clean permanently. One slip up and you can't stay.
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advice from Guest2993605 | 09-16-2007 18:15 | E : 0 | S : 0
Some people WILL change and some WONT. Tell him you love him and will stand by his side as his girlfriend until he gets the help he needs and drops the habbit for good. Explain to him you will always be there for him but if he doesn't drop the habbit soon, you'll have to leave him. Give him a set amount of time in your mind to quit.. a reasonable one and realize that even if he does change he will have slip ups.. but don't tell him the time frame, it'll only discourage him. Follow your own rules, when it's hard to leave if he doesn't stop.. ask yourself if this is something you want your kids to deal with. Ask yourself if you want him to get your kids hooked on it like his parents did him.
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advice from Guest1281659 | 10-30-2007 01:33 | E : 0 | S : 0
make him quit first!!

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advice from Guest3229379 | 07-03-2007 12:52 | E : 0 | S : 1
NO, not until he is in rehab for at least 3 months, then when he is better, he needs to move away from where he is, stop talking to whomever he gets his drugs from, he needs to completely change everything. A drug addiction is a lifetime ordeal that most cannot get over. Are you willing to deal with that forever?
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advice from Guest3629598 | 08-17-2007 14:14 | E : 1 | S : 2
if u truley love him then yes. if u say not that will just make it worse. him asking u could be the start of him changing
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advice from Guest834726 | 08-30-2007 12:52 | E : 0 | S : 2
Yes, I think you should. Maybe you wanting to be with him even though he is having issues will help him be stronger. But tell him that you need him to quit heroine or the marriage will not work.
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advice from Guest851888 | 09-02-2007 11:20 | E : 0 | S : 2
do you love him?
we can tel the awnser is yes. just by how yu talk about him
if he wants you to matrty him nd really loves you heelll get more help.
he needs you to stand by him x

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