religion and love

I've been with my boyfriend for almost 5 years now and we love each other so much, we are absolutely perfect together. The one problem is probably the worst one to have, I'm a Christian and he's not. He's started pulling me away from my beliefs and I've started resenting him for it. The fact that we're going to get married in the future is almost guaranteed, and I don't have a problem with that, it's having children and trying to raise them with a spouse who doesn't share the same morals and beliefs as me. It really scares me and I don't know what to do. He's like a drug that I'm thoroughly addicted to and I can't get away, and I don't want to get away... I just don't know what to do.

Category Romance

advice from Guest1436328 | 11-14-2007 04:18 | E : 1 | S : 0
I am Christian too. It is obvious that you love him and he loves you. If your love is that deep he should accept that you still want to express your faith and go to Mass and stuff like that. It might mean that you have to go to Mass without him but that should work out. As for the children talk to your boyfriend. Maybe send them to public school half of the time and Catholic Private school half of the time. You are going to have to let them decided what they want to believe on their own. You can tell them your beliefs but don't force it upon them. Your children don't need to be baptized as infants. Let them grow up and make their own mind about religion.
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advice from Guest1433759 | 11-13-2007 23:02 | E : 0 | S : 0
i have the same problem. there comes a point where you have to sacrifice something for love. it can't just be perfect. Depending on how different your religions are, atleast confront him about the issue, tell him that you want a say in raising the kids too. Its going to be very difficult. I am devout when it comes to my relgion but i made the decison that my boyfriend can raise the kids as christian. Its a sacrifice that I made for love, because in this world I need him by my side, and there is no other way to settle it. Also, you could just let the children understand both religions and when they grow up they can decide what they want for themselves. You need to self analyze a bit, especially if you want to marry the man. If you can't sacrfice anything and he won't either...than maybe re-evaluate your relationship. Think about love, think about religion, ask god for the answer. I hope you get what makes you happy. All the best. Take Care.
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advice from Guest1434153 | 11-13-2007 23:52 | E : 0 | S : 0
If you really want to raise your children in a way that would be ok for both of you, try this: wait until your children are a little older and then let them decide. Raise them with good discipline that you both agree on, instill in them the morals you both agree children should have and then when they are a little older and a bit responsible, allow them to choose what they would like to worship or not worship. Giving children support and making sure they are well-rounded will give them the confidence to make a responsible choice about their own religion and will have a large impact on their decision making in their life. Just be sure to love and cherish them as much as possible, always listen to them and never try to push your own beliefs on them. Just because they might not share your exact beliefs and ideas does not mean they can't grow up to be amazing people. Good luck!
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advice from Guest1449043 | 11-15-2007 04:00 | E : 0 | S : 0
I am a nonbeliever and my boyfriend is a Christian. I support him very much and am very happy for him - it doesn't feel like I'm being accepted though. I hope that your resentment melts away if you see that he is thoroughly supportive of you. Agree to disagree; perhaps your children can be brought up to choose.
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advice from Guest1184941 | 02-09-2008 16:27 | E : 0 | S : 0
Well, my mother has no religion and my dad is catholic. It might be better if you just raise your children to be good people, because that is all that realy matters, right? I have no religion, and I'm a great person. My parents do have different beliefs, but, you and your husband should be able to set aside differences and do whats best for your child.
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advice from Guest2304569 | 02-09-2008 22:58 | E : 0 | S : 0
If you really feel that strongly about him, dont let this get in the way. It can be a big deal, but make sure you sort this out now, before things become much too complicated in the future.
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advice from Guest2374409 | 02-18-2008 02:20 | E : 0 | S : 0
I honestly know how you feel coz i was in the same situation plus minus a year ago and let me tell you it didnt end well, i was completely head over heals and the religion was the other way around he was christian and i muslim, we dated for like 3 years and were even engaged but when it comes down to it, things are way to complicated families get involved, the issue of children comes into play, there are so many factors.And the thing is im not trying to scare you but reality is going to strike but rather a year or two of heartache than a life time of resentment and heartache.
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advice from Guest2382960 | 02-19-2008 01:08 | E : 0 | S : 0
I'm in the same spot, reverse genders.

I'm okay with it i suppose, as long as she doesn't do anything to sway me. It'd be cool if she converted though.
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advice from Guest1443047 | 11-14-2007 17:25 | E : 0 | S : 1
im in the same spot as u! i resent my partner cuz what we do together pulls me away from my religion and i think things will get better after we're married but usually it always always always goes the way how the "man" in the relationship wants it no matter how feministic/independent a woman is-she is the one that has to sacrifice
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advice from Guest1478166 | 11-17-2007 16:42 | E : 0 | S : 2
Tell him how you feel and take him to church with you. If he really love you, he won't try to take something that important away from you. Maybe he'll even become a Christian someday too.
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