Still love my ex

I said "yes" to my boyfriend of three years that I lived with, even though the whole time I thought "no". I couldn't say no. I broke up with him because I pushed his buttons enough to lose his temper one last time and used that as my excuse for leaving. I moved out and move, d to another city and am dating someone else. I still love my ex, and we talk and are still in an intimate relationship. I am also seeing someone else. Neither knows about each other. I can't let go of my ex, and I don't know whether it's because I love him or because I need that security. I dont know if Im in love with him andI am scared I will never find someone that loves me as much as he does. I don;t want to hurt him anymore. I feel guilt every day and I feel like a coward. It has been three months and I still don;t know what to do. Im waiting for a sign or an answer that I am scared will never come.

Category General Confession