with someone i love but so alone

I am with the girl i cheated on my wife with, we've been together for almost a year. I'm always listening to her problems and trying to make her happier, i love her and so greatly want to be with her, but i feel so alone all the time. I dont open my self up to her like she does to me, cause im scared she will leave me if she knew the truth about me. I am married, but seperated, she knows this, she doesnt know that the reason me and my wife are getting a divorce is cause of me meeting her. I told it was long coming. i was married 3 months, before i meet my gf now, i lie to her constantly about my past life of cheating, drinking, partying, and many random girls, I am swimming in an ocean of lies with her, and dont know what to do..
Category Betrayal

advice from Guest1179351 | 10-18-2007 16:30 | E : 0 | S : 0
stop all relationships of any kind. Tell her you are confused because you have told everyone things which made it easier for them but harder for you. Ask if she will give you 2 months to sort out the situation. Every 3 days (not more and not less!) send her a loving note assuring her of your love. Attach to this note your installments of the real truth.
Dont expect pity, forgiveness or understanding.
Expect that she may walk away for ever. You lost her the first day you lied. Hope and pray that by showing her your true love and the truth that you will have a future.
In my opinion, you will be extremely lucky to come out of this with your love in tact. What can i say?? A web of lies begets more lies and the only way off such merry-go-rounds is to stop it.
Imagine that she finds out the truth (and the truth will one day come out), what then? You may be married with children by then.... your relationship will spiral downwards and what will happen? same again? or she will do unto you as you have done to others?
Stop your self induced web of decit and come into the real world. the other option of course is to become the playboy that your fantasy mind has created.
Its your choice. No judgements, no packdrill, no more nonsense. If you want this lady forever then go for it.
just a note --- she may already know ..... she doesnt think you are really attainable and thats what attracts her..... what happens when all this comes out?
Are you going to base the rest of your life on "don't really know?"
thats taking the "keep a bit of mystery" way way too far :)
good luck
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