You.

I hate you. I've known you longer than anyone in my life. You're my mother, and I hate you. I used to think you loved me and that you could do anything. You're the complete opposite. And you know what, mom? Do you really want to know where the missing knife from the kitchen set is? It's in the drawer beside my bed. Just in case, just in case. I try to be perfect for you, and sometimes it hurts, the cutting does. Have you noticed noticed my weight loss? I didn't think so.

Category Didn't Want To Know - But I Do

advice from Guest3273021 | 06-24-2007 19:09 | E : 5 | S : 1
My mother treated me very badly when I was a child. She still does and has perpetuated it into the next generation with the way she treats my children. She didn't beat me physically (she spanked when necessary and hard, but I wouldn't say beat.) but she invalidated me in so many ways.

It was my mother that first gave me the message that I wasn't pretty enough or thin enough. When we looked through the Sears catalog before school started, she pointed out the things I was going to get. And then she turned to other pages, saying "If you were thin, I would dress you to a T." It was my mother that once made me go to my room and write hundreds of sentences..."I hate my mother and she hates me." She flirted with, and came on to, my brother's friend that I had a crush on to rub it in my face. She never missed an opportunity to put me down.

I understand your pain and alienation. I am so sorry that you are feeling this way! Please don't hurt yourself. Please find a kind and compassionate adult to talk to. If you are scared to out your mom in detail, focus instead on how you aee feeling about yourSELF. Please know that you are valuable and your sensitivity means you are capable of real, deep, and meaningful love.

Be gentle with yourself and if no one else is there to do it, give yourself a hug. I will pray for you and all the other hurting people. I don't have to know your names, God already does.
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advice from Guest3017114 | 04-30-2007 09:06 | E : 2 | S : 0
i had a dear friend who was in a similiar position to you... that aside, im not sure what advice to offer you than to try and talk it out with a few close friends, and a psychologist if needbe, either way, i do hope the best for you

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advice from Guest3282813 | 06-25-2007 02:24 | E : 2 | S : 0
I spent years trying to be perfect for a woman who did not know how to be happy. I was adopted when she found out my father was sterile because all she ever wanted was "a little girl just like me." I was responsibile for her personal happiness and saving her marriage. It took me 30 years to realize that it was not my fault or responsibility that she was crazy and miserable. She was diagnoised with narcissistic personality disorder. That could be the problem with your mother, but even if it isn't it is still not your fault!!!
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advice from Guest3308132 | 06-30-2007 19:46 | E : 0 | S : 0
ok to the person that thinks teenagers are stupid for cutting themselves and hating there mothers should slap themselves. just because you might have a great life and everthing in your life has worked out perfectly doesnt mean that its that way for everyone else. do you no what it feels like to have your own mother call you fat and ugly even though in most cases its not true, i beat you dont. to the people whos mothers are like this it sucks but in the end it will only make you stronger trust me. it doesnt matter what your mother says as long as your happy with yourself. beauty is in the eye of the beholder not just your mother.
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advice from Guest3313103 | 07-01-2007 22:48 | E : 0 | S : 0
I hate her too. Or at least I used to. Or I still do. I don't really know which, but I've found it's not worth the emotion spent. Screw perfect. She's not perfect no matter what she thinks or what she's trying to hide from. Based on my own Perfect Mother, Perfect Woman, Perfect Employee, Perfect Everything to Everyone mother, she's just a really bitter, disappointed woman taking out her own childhood woes and foibles on you.
And you're right, she doesn't even know she's doing it and she doesn't even notice. Not that she doesn't have her good points, I'm sure, but you're the one who gets all the bad no one else sees right?
My best advice? Be safe. Put up a temporary wall inside. Don't do anything for or because of her. You can't change her that way. The only thing you can do while you are forced to live with her is change yourself. So wait. Observe her. Observe your reactions to her. Find out exactly what/where the internal wounds she has given you are and set about healing them. Realize that you as a human being, as a living creature are worthy and deserving of respect and love. Do not give her the power to hurt you. Live with her until the moment you're free to leave then go. Live a while longer without her.
The day will come when the two of you are talking and you reveal secrets about her that she didn't want to face. Tell her how she hurt you. Point out the places and lies she uses to delude herself. Watch her mask crumble and yes, rejoice in that terrified pain filled woman. I assure you it is well worth it and she will walk away without her moral high ground and you will stand with yourself intact.
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advice from Guest3329167 | 07-05-2007 09:36 | E : 0 | S : 0
My mother is the same way honey.I am now 34 and after many year have learned to eat...I never had the weight problem my mom said I did...she was the fat one but she gave me the name "fat girl"to make herself better
I starved myself to please someone who can never be pleased.
I finally shattered the mold she made for me at 30...I took 30 years of crap from her and now that I have kids of my own she is never going to see them....she finally gave up on trying to hurt me and just disowned me instead...its the best gift she ever gave me....Honey stop beatting yourself up and walk away when you are able...its something i wish i had done earlier....I stopped killing myself slowly for someone who wasnt worth half the pain she gave ...YOU ARE SPECIAL,we may never meet..maybe we have allready....just remember you are thought about and I wish the best for you....You are loved ....never forget to love yourself...screw her and spite her by loving yourself...thats what she can never take from you...now get it back
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advice from Guest3271948 | 07-05-2007 10:24 | E : 0 | S : 0
I don't really know what's happening here. What does your mom do to you?
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advice from Guest3485177 | 07-29-2007 21:51 | E : 0 | S : 0
screw being perfect if shes gonna be a b----.dont beat up on yourself. just try to steer clear of her. be happy and try telling a therapist or someone about it

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advice from Guest1179932 | 10-18-2007 18:09 | E : 0 | S : 0
Your words are far stronger than I would use, but I understand you. I can't stand my mother. I am not blaming her for anything. My adult life away from her has been good. I should thank her because she showed me what a terrible mother behaved like so I knew exactly what I wanted my relationship to be with my two daughters. My beloved father died in 2005 and without him to absorb some of her odiousness, I have to deal with her and I loathe her! Her voice, her face, her opinions - I hate it all!
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advice from Guest2193964 | 01-28-2008 06:48 | E : 0 | S : 0
I know how you feel.
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advice from Guest3316884 | 07-02-2007 17:13 | E : 0 | S : 1
Awwww...my mom is the same way. my mom is a f______ PSYCHO b____. Please dont feel alone. I used to turn to substances like ecstasy pot and alchohal to escape the pain she has put me through. And now i know not to. Please stop the habit, it will not do any good.
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advice from Guest3415031 | 07-19-2007 14:54 | E : 0 | S : 1
you blind yourself to the truth, your mom is the only person who really and honestly cares about you. your friends just tell you what you WANT to hear.
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advice from Guest1069971 | 10-03-2007 04:39 | E : 0 | S : 2
You shouldn't hate you Mom if it wasn't for her you wouldn't be here duh!
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advice from Guest3159751 | 05-23-2007 22:17 | E : 1 | S : 4
ok i wouldnt go to the extreme of cutting yourself or starving yourself or w/e just so you can catch her attention. Try talking to her and if that doesnt work then move out

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advice from Guest3106916 | 05-10-2007 14:08 | E : 2 | S : 17
Your mother gave you life. She feeds you and provides you a place to live. And what is all this crap with teenagers cutting themselves? Wouldnt it be smarter to talk to your mom to get her attention, than to hurt yourself for it? Good grief.

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